Frozen: Why I’m Still Obsessed Months Later

by Kristan Suko

Frozen-Elsa

Alright, let’s talk about the amazingness that is Disney’s Frozen, a movie I became so obsessed with that I downloaded the soundtrack the moment I got home so I could relive it over and over. You know songs are good when they’re still stuck in your head months later and they’ve become your personal anthems for everything in life. Props to songwriters Kristin Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez, who also penned the music for The Book of Mormon and Avenue Q.

The animation was also spectacular. Even the flurries of snow blowing in the wind were jumping off the screen – and Elsa’s ice castle? Awe-inspiring. I highly recommend seeing Frozen in theaters purely for the visual experience, although – you won’t be disappointed by the rest of the film.

What really made the film great was that for once, I saw a Disney movie where the main focus was not about a girl falling in love with a guy and living happily ever after. No, Frozen focuses on two sisters who become estranged, through no fault of their own, and their struggles to find their way back to each other, a theme that is much more real and relatable. By focusing on familial love over romantic love, the end renewed my faith in Disney movies, and in humanity, by sending out a realistic and healthy message.

What really struck me as the highlight of the entire movie, the part of the film that affected me so deeply that I’m still feeling the pangs of its effects months later, was the song “Let It Go,” sung by none other than the amazing Idina Menzel, best known for her renditions of “Defying Gravity” (Wicked) and “Take Me or Leave Me” (Rent). This song really punched me in the feels, hard, and I found myself tearing up by the end of it because, not only was the song beautifully sung and so powerful, but I realized that it was about me and about how I felt about coming to terms with being gay.

Throughout the movie, Elsa is constantly encouraged by her parents to conceal her powers and to repress them in fear of hurting someone. Her power is seen as something dangerous and something to be hidden from the rest of the world, even from her own sister.

Since childhood, Elsa lived in a constant state of fear and isolation, but once her secret came out, she ran away to the snowy mountains and finally unleashed the power she had been repressing all her life. In that moment, she was finally free to be herself. You can see Elsa come into her own and embrace that side of her that she never dared to embrace before. It’s empowering and inspiring. When she unleashed her powers and felt free to be herself, she creates beauty. She conjured an ice castle up from nothing. It was breathtaking, and it made me upset because I felt like it was such a waste of talent being hidden away all that time.

Like Elsa, I felt afraid and alone when I thought I might be gay. Growing up, no one that I knew was gay. My parents are Asian and although they never actually said the words that being gay was a bad thing, I was constantly encouraged to fit in and follow the rules. I was also shy, and the thought of being seen, especially for something negative where people would talk about me behind my back and judge me, terrified me to the core. When the first inclinations that I might be gay crept into my mind in high school, I repressed them with such strident force that they didn’t even resurface again until after college.

Eventually, like Elsa, my body betrayed me and I could no longer live in denial. People were starting to suspect that I was gay, and it just made me try even harder to suppress it. I ended up hurting someone I cared about because I lashed out in a moment of frustration and hurt her in an irreparable way. Knowing I had hurt someone I cared about so much made me think that I was a dangerous person. I couldn’t trust myself and felt like the only way to keep myself from hurting anyone ever again was to keep my distance and not get too close. I lived like this for a long time, knowing what I was, but being afraid of it, wishing it weren’t a part of me. I longed to connect to others in a way that was deep and meaningful, but I believed that I couldn’t without revealing my secret and risk losing them or hurting them.

One day my body betrayed me again, this time by getting sick, and, like Elsa, I ran away to a mountain where it would be safe and I could be myself. This mountain was in Los Angeles, not in Norway like in the film, and it was for a queer women’s camp called A-camp, but ironically, there was still snow none-the-less. Also like Elsa, on that mountaintop, I felt free in a way I never had before, and I was able to let go of so many fears that had been holding me back all my life. I challenged myself to be open to new experiences and to try things I had always been afraid to try. It was liberating and thrilling. I was finally able to embrace that side of myself that I had always tried to hide, and I realized that instead of my sexual orientation being a curse, it was actually a gift that I was glad to have.

This is what came to me when sitting there in that theater, reliving of my personal experiences through this fictional character. Elsa inspired me because when she let go and let her powers shine, she created beautiful masterpieces with nothing but her own inner strength. It made me think that I too could be capable of such things if I just got out of my own way and stopped holding myself back. Maybe I’m capable of writing the next great American novel if I believed in myself and really tried. “Let It Go” reminded me that you can’t live your life in fear, and that if you truly want to be happy, you just have to go for it and let go of everything that is holding you back. You might feel alone in the beginning, but at least you’ll be free and happy, and eventually the people who love you will find you, and you’ll be able to have the life you’ve always wanted where you can be yourself and people will love you for it.

Watch the “Let It Go” Sequence Here

5 Responses to Frozen: Why I’m Still Obsessed Months Later

  1. Pingback: Frozen | Kristan Suko

  2. Dylan Miller Reply

    March 8, 2014 at 11:30 pm

    Bro I know how you feel im obsessed with
    That song and Elsa and Anne I can’t help it I fricken love Elsa and it’s hard to tell me self it’s fake and watch it as much as I can.

  3. Frozen Fighter Reply

    March 12, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    Dylan, i believe the author is a girl. <3 Frozen Forever!

  4. Ashley Ruskiewicz (@AshleyRuski) Reply

    March 25, 2014 at 4:49 am

    Beautiful! Really enjoyed your sentiment!

  5. Pingback: FROZEN: CURSED UNDER AN ICY SPELL? | lotsbrooke

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